Stories

A letter to my younger self

Hey, Laceey. It’s Laceey. This is not a prank. This is not your mom trying to make you feel better, or your dad playing some ridiculous joke on you. You know them well enough. They would never write you a letter like the one you are about to hear.

You’ve done really well for yourself. Hiding away from everyone. Putting on that smile. That facade that says everything is sunshine. But you wake up every morning wishing you hadn’t. It seems like an endless cycle. You sleep nearly 12 hours a day, and that still doesn’t feel like enough. All you want to do is escape this body. A body that doesn’t for a moment feel like your own.

But you’re 26, Laceey. You went to college. You’re even getting your masters! It’s taken some time, but your blood no longer runs on nerves. Most days, you wake up with a smile. You know that you are just beginning to tap into what has been buried deep in your gut for so many years. Your mind has been a seed that just needed the right combination of sunlight and water and someone to provide oxygen with their voice. People are watching you bloom. And when you look in the mirror, sometimes you see what they see. You glimpse at the truth. You keep reminding yourself that one day all the condensation will clear off that mirror, and all you will see is you.

Never stop searching for love from within,

Laceey

My name is Laceey, and I have been struggling with my mental health probably since before I can remember. It has taken me a long time to understand what I was going through and still struggle with. Why I always felt as though nothing made sense in this world. Why I was constantly feeling uncomfortable. As if I was a burden to everyone around me. As if I didn’t belong and never would. But in this moment I have started to realize I am a walking fallacy. I never want anyone to feel the way I have felt. As though there is no one to talk to. As though there is no hope for people to understand.

I dream that this campaign will open eyes and hearts. To let others know it’s okay to talk, to be heard, to ask questions, and to listen. To be the person you wish you had when you were younger. To remind others that life will never be perfection but life is worth the challenge. Life is worth it to let someone know they are not alone. And in that moment you are no longer alone either. And in that moment you can begin to grow together.